What makes us like some other persons?
Is it the way they make us feel?
Is it the vibe we get from them?
Some say that we like certain people because they remind us of the things that we like about ourselves and who pull us away from the things we hate about ourselves. Others say that we choose people whose defenses fit with ours.
I feel it’s such a curious matter. No matter how much you want to rationalize the factors and this type of human behavior, it always remains a mystery. Why do we like the people we like and why aren’t we able to cope with the ones that…we obviously don’t like?
I’m an ambivert, which makes it easy for me. I am somewhere between the loudest person in the room, laughing my head off, and the quiet and analytical observer, who nods on the things other people say and creates a database with all the received information. It makes it easy for me, as I feel I am somehow able to understand both stances. I also know whether I like a person or not in the first 5 minutes, so when I have doubts regarding someone’s true colors, I turn back to the moment we’ve met for the first time and I try to remember their vibe.
People change, you would say. Right?
No, sorry. Circumstances change. Or worse, you just never knew who they really were.
More than anything, I feel instantly connected to the people who, regardless of their extrovertism- introvertism degree, make you feel good and at peace with yourself, validate you and bring out the best in you.
But in order to be able to do this, they need to like themselves first.